Table Of Contents
Foreword
Chapter 1:
Discipline Basics
Chapter 2:
Consider Where Your Child Struggles
Chapter 3:
Use Age Appropriate Consequences
Chapter 4:
Be Clear About Expectations And Consequences
Chapter 5:
One Firm Warning Is Enough
Chapter 6:
Don’t Give In And Be Consistent
Chapter 7:
The Consequences Of Incorrect Discipline
Wrapping Up
Foreword
Everyone needs to have some form of discipline embedded into their
lives to create a smoothness that will help the person function in an
acceptable manner. Most of these discipline elements are adopted
from a very young age and usually initiated by the parents of the
child. In order to teach the child how to eventually simulate into
society and be manageable, these discipline measures are necessary.
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Positive Discipline Methods
Chapter 1:
Discipline Basics
Synopsis
The following are some of the basic discipline philosophies that are
usually introduced to a child from a very young age:
The Basics
Good discipline is not about working out punishments, as this does
not really teach the child about the actual negativity of the act that
required some discipline attention.
Instead it really teaches the child that the stronger component in the
equation usually get to dictate and cause the weaker one to simply
follow along.
Good discipline measures are meant to teach a child right from wrong
and not simple address the wrong. Making the child understand self
control and socially acceptable behavior is one way of encouraging the
method of good discipline.
The parent will show agreement of good behavior with praising and
encouragement and will usually address bad behavior with the
opportunity to discipline using respect, patience and good problem
solving skill as opposed to simply working out punishment.
Good discipline is not about going through the process of a power
struggle. When a child is much younger it may seem acceptable to use
this kind of discipline but as the child grows older it would definitely
be much more difficult to use this style as the older child will more
likely retaliate, thus making the already difficult situation worse.
Good discipline does not mean making the child feel insulted or suing
demeaning elements to cause hurt. Using styles such as yelling and
name calling will not help the child in any positive way.
Chapter 2:
Consider Where Your Child Struggles
Synopsis
Every child has problems in certain areas in their lives which may
cause some disciplinary requirement in order for these problems not
to escalate out of control. However it is not always easy to understand
the child’s position and problem and working out some form of
discipline without a thorough understanding will only make matters
worse.
Where Help Is Needed
Often children will emulate what they have observe from those
closest to them, thus most of the struggles a child experiences will
eventually be solved the way they see the parents or adults around
the do so.
Therefore in the quest to try and help the child through the
problems and the methods used for suitable solutions, every
consideration should be given to understating why the child has a
problem in a particular area to being with.
The following are some of the ways that can be adopted when
working out discipline while still being very aware of the areas the
child struggles in:
Decide how to handle the situation without further adding to the
problem. Take step that would reinforce discipline but at the same
time the method used should also allow the child to understand
and accept, things are being done, taking their best interest to
heart.
Using firmness but salting it with kindness will go a long way in
assuring the child that the parent understands the struggle, but
does not condone the behavior being shown on the part of the
child. Nurturing through disciple may seem like a strange concept to follow but will be effective in the long run as it does not aim to
bring done the child natural spirit and zest for life.
Having family meeting to address the problem will also help to
show the child that his or her feelings and struggles are being
considered and are important to all. This will help the child accept
the discipline measures with less chances of rebellion.
Chapter 3:
Use Age Appropriate Consequences
Synopsis
In order to discipline a child properly, there should ideally be some
thought given to how the parent should go about the action and what
type of action should be considered. Simply working out punishment
for the sake of disciplining a child will not be productive at all and
may sometimes even have a destructive result.
The Right Discipline
The following are some guidelines that can help to make the choice
of discipline measure more appropriate to both the child’s age and
to address the act that required the discipline is a suitably
corresponding and appropriate manner:
The parent should consider the development stage the child is
going through. This should be on an individual basis as this may
differ greatly even in the same age group.
Reading books and other material on this may be helpful in
steering the parent in the right direction.
Start building a good foundation for behavioral patterns. Ensure
the child understands from a very early age what is acceptable and
what not acceptable behavior is.
Dealing with this before there is actually a need to address any
inappropriate behavior by working out disciplinary action will be
better for the child as the child will not be confused by the sudden
onslaught of the negative reaction from the parent.
Understanding the brain development in general is also important
as it important that child be able to comprehend the disciplinary
action taken and not perceive it as usually cruel and uncalled for.
The parent should be able to understand that at certain ages the
child will react to things in a certain manner that is out of their
own comprehension, thus the need to understand the brain
development processes before actually working out punishment.
Obeying something that they can really comprehend will be
difficult for the child.
Chapter 4:
Be Clear About Expectations And Consequences
Synopsis
The first thing a parent should understand is that children are not
born instantly knowing all rules and regulations in life. This they will
learn mostly through trial and error and it is the duty of the parent to
teach these, in the best way possible preferably without causing any
damage to the child mentally or physically.
Be Clear
The following are some guidelines that can help the parent
understand how to ensure the child is clear about the expectations
and consequences before there is a need for discipline:
Both parties should be able to understand and accept that the
discipline worked out is not meant to solely represent punishment
but is to help the child curb the need to act in a particular way in the
future.
This will help the child understand that the punishment or discipline
measure taken is not meant to hurt or harm neither is it all about the
power.
The idea behind the action taken should clearly show the child the
expectations and consequences that are directly related to a particular
act only and nothing else.
Confusing the child with non connective elements will not help the
child separate the various acts and the discipline measure taken
especially if the child is very young and as for the older child, there is
the likelihood of resentment building when unfairness is perceived.
The child should be made to understand that the expectations of the
parents and adults around, is not about a power struggle but about
molding the child for future simulation into society and making the
transition easy and enjoyable.
Being consistent in the disciplinary actions worked out and also
taking these measures as soon as possible after the offending behavior is displayed in very important. The younger the child if
swifter the action taken to ensure the child understands the
connection between the action and the punishment.
Chapter 5:
One Firm Warning Is Enough
Synopsis
Sometimes there is a need to simply step back from the actual need to
give out any sort of punishment or disciplinary action and just give
the child a firm warning. However parents, who choose to use this
method, should learn that there should also be consequences to be
accepted and expected should the initial firm warning not be adhered
to or taken seriously.
Only Once
There are several ways the firm warning technique can play out and
this may include some of the following thought processes:
Natural consequences – in this particular scenario the parent’s job is
to firm warn the child of certain measures that should be taken for
the convenience of the child and if these measure are not taken, the
parent will not step in and compensate for any loss or negative
occurrences.
The child will be taught that the firm warning is all the help he or she
is going to get and will have to work with the results of their actions.
Logical consequences – this is another way the parent can tackle a
situation with just a firm warning. Taking the time to explain to the
child the consequences of different actions before the child is put in a
position where he or she would have to react is one way of being firm,
as the parent’s explanation should ideally also include the extent of
help to be expected from the parent and nothing more.
This will also help the child make decisions on just how much they
are prepared to handle and if such actions are worth the possible
negative consequences which they will have to deal with themselves
and accept.
Positive discipline – here the parent will not only explain the
consequences but will assure the child that the consequences will be
worked out without any hope of compromise.
Chapter 6:
Give In And Be Consistent
Synopsis
Disciple is really is rather hard for a parent to consistently participate
in especially when the parent is either usually never around or when
the child is clever enough to seem innocent when the time for
disciplining comes around.
Keep Going
However parents should understand that all discipline should have
some form on consistency, in order to be effective on any level. There
is also the important of making the child understand this attitude of
consistency so that he or she will understand that every action has a
consequent reaction be it positive or negative.
If the parents are able to be consistent and stand their ground no
matter what, the children will soon learn the importance of weighting
their actions before actually acting upon them. This will eventually
makes things easier for both parent and child.
Being consistent and steadfast in the discipline area will also help the
younger child understand the particular behavior or action is not
going to be tolerated and thus will slowly wean themselves off.
However if the discipline is not consistent the child will learn to
maneuver the situation according to the parent’s mood swings thus
teaching them how to cunningly get their way.
Besides this the child will also be very confused when the disciplinary
action is not consistent and the child will not really be able to
understand the enormity of the negative act if the punishment
worked out differs considerable each time.
Trying different types of punishment in order to make the child
understand the negative act is unacceptable is alright but the
disciplinary action worked out should be along similar lines of
severity so that consistency can be effectively maintained at all times.
For the parent, keeping to this consistency will also make their job
much easier and predictable and this is an important feature to
incorporate in the child’s mind.
Chapter 7:
The Consequences Of Incorrect Discipline
Synopsis
There are several dangers connected to the incorrect discipline
methods a parent may decide to use and below are some of the
possible repercussions of such erroneous decisions:
Important Points
If the child is too young to understand to mode of discipline
being given out, the confusion will not allow the child to
actually focus on the negative act that caused the need for
discipline but will cause the child to focus on the fact that
maybe the parent does not really love or care for them after all.
This is very damaging for a young child and can be far reaching
effects that maybe so embedded in their subconscious that it
may be difficult to change.
Incorrect discipline may also cause the child to feel inferior and
therefore eventually become very withdrawn. This may also
erode their self- esteem.
A child with low self esteem issues will also end up having
problems in other parts of their life, thus creating even more
problems in the long run.
If the disciple usually takes on a physical mode, then the child
will eventually learn or perceive the only way to get what they
want is to be physical about it.
Therefore they will constantly resort to physical displays of
violence as they perceive this to be the accepted way to get things done their way. All this is due to the example first set by
the parent in the style of discipline used.
Incorrect form of discipline can also make a child feel resentful
towards the parent thus causing friction within the family unit.
Sometimes this can result in relationships going bad.
Wrapping Up
The time should fit the crime is a popularly touted saying that most
people would understand. Therefore when it comes to disciplining
children this same concept should also be adhered to
